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UNashamed504
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Name: ♥Elizabeth♥
Country: United States
State: Indiana
Metro: Indianapolis
Birthday: 3/19/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: I ♥: Adams hands and eyes, a day off work, ankles, backflips, being healed by God, big sunglasses, boys with shirts off, catching your eye, 1 Corinthians, driving fast, eating as much as i want, flying, hearing you say you love me, hip bones, knowing Gods in control, laughing at anorexic moviestars, living for God and not you, loud purses, my eyes, reading the Bible, remembering our past, singing into a mic, skydiving, smooth faces, socks, speaking in tongues, storms, straight teeth, tall dark skinny boys, telling a cute guy im taken by an even cuter guy, the air after rain, the beauty of his body, the comfort of our relationship, the feeling after i brush my teeth, the safety of adam's arms, the smell of my garage, watching muscles work, when boys cry, when he misses me, when you can smell summer for the first time that year, when you say im a Holy Roller, worshipping God with all i have
Expertise: Check out myspace.com and search for me: ElizabethAnne18 ♥
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
AIM:  fltwoodmac7
Member Since:
3/6/2005
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| so basically, i am sick of getting shafted. ok, apparently i am too difficult to be around because now i am 5 minutes away instead of 5 seconds away. i have gone pretty much a whole semester alone. no friends, no family, no husband, no no one because of various reasons. but some of those reasons are stupid because people are...........i dont even know. really just tell me you have better things to do, dont just lead me on. i am so ready to move out of this freaking state. oommmmmmmmggggggggggggg. im done. | | |
| I have so much to do. I always have so much to do. It is freaking me out and making me break down. I need so much more money than I have and that freaks me out too. I screwed myself over and now I am trying to get out of it, but really it is just really expensive. I have a huge list of things to do, and some of them are easy and no big deal, but some of them are hard and annoying and difficult and things I just dont want to do because they are expensive. I keep thinking of more things I have to do and adding them to my humongous list. And it really sucks because I have to do it all alone. Most of these things I am doing to keep Adam and I from not paying our bills, to have money where we need it, to get all the paperwork done for school, transferring, moving, bills, Christmas, everything. And I am doing it all alone and he doesnt even have any idea of how much I am doing that if I didnt do it, it wouldnt get done and we would be in a heap of trouble. He doesnt know because he works at least 50 hours a week and he doesnt even have time to know about what is going on. Probably because I only see him 2 days a week on the weekends, when no where is open for us to go and do what we need to do at places that are only open from 9-5 Monday through Friday. Why does this suck so bad? Why am I all alone doing all the things that need to be done all by myself. I am the only one who can do these things and I feel so overwhelmed with no one to help. I tell Adam and he doesnt have time to help. I tell my mom and she is too far away to help. I dont have any friends who have time to help. I am alone and tired. I have picked up a new hobby that is a huge stress relief. Since I have started my work study job where I clean the Fine Arts building, I have come across the piano practice rooms. I have actually started teaching myself how to play the piano and I love it. I could spend hours there and I just get to clear my head and play the music in front of me. I figure it out myself and go at my own pace, and I am able to play songs and it is great. It is how I have just been getting away from all this stress lately. I just really wish Adam could take a day off and help me do all the things I have to do to keep us afloat, because I feel like I am drowning in my to do list. | | |
| i am ready to move home this minute! i want to pick up and leave. this apartment is old and annoying. i hate driving to school twice a day. i have no real job. i never see my husband. i never see my friends. i never see anyone. and why? well dont ask me. i cant really tell you why because i dont know. pretty much i am alone and annoyed in this stupid state. everyone here drives 10 miles under the speed limit at all times. and everyone else just has too much homework to hang out. thats basically a summary of missouri. so, i am ready to move home so at least i can hang out with my mom who has time for me. mmk | | |
| i am a people watcher. i admit it. i sit and i watch people. i wonder about people, i memorize things about people, i know random facts about people. its not even that i memorize things, i just see or read or hear things and i just remember them. i know things about people who dont even know me. that might be wierd, oh well. i almost always know someones name even if i dont know them. i like to keep up on people too. people who i am not friends with anymore, i like to know how they are doing. i just wonder if anyone knows things about me and i dont even know who they are. that would be so cool. i feel like the person that people either dont notice or quickly forget about and i dont know why. its like there are the really pretty girls and the really outgoing guys and everyone else is forgotten. unless the girls are just really wierd or funny, and the same with the guys, or they are just really good looking. those are the only people that i feel like are remembered. what about people like me. what about those of us who are just normal looking, not that funny, kind of quiet and socially inept. but we want to have friends and be noticed and remembered for more than a semester of school. this is what i think about when i watch people. i think i sound bitter, but i am not bitter, these are just things i have noticed. when i was younger i used to be jealous. now i just feel like a researcher or a sociologist of some sort. i just sit and watch and think and remember and learn about people in the background while everyone else does their thing. because i am a people watcher. | | |
| sometimes i just get in the mood to write, and seems how no one reads this anymore, this is where i am going to do it because it is easy. how come sometimes my moods can just change immensly? its not like bipolar or anything, but maybe something very mildly like it. somedays i feel 100% hopeless and disgusted and useless and somedays i feel like its gonna be ok. today is the latter, but i wonder what tomorrow will be. i am going home on friday because i miss my family, but adam isnt going with me, just andrew. so i dont know how i feel about it because i never see my husband as it is. he worked 14 hours today for me, and i am so proud of him. i did get a call back today for a job i really wanted so we will see next week how that goes. amazing how yesterday i just really wanted a job and i was about to give up, well now today i have it, like just in time, except a little late, because now i am nervous. why? i am so freaking picky. i need to be slapped out of it. i just want to know whats going on in the world and what is going to happen and just really who i am. i want to be more comfortable and confident in myself. tonight i was talking to my friends and i was forced to really think about myself, and i liked it but i was kind of freaked out, but i need more of it. i need to just talk, but to who? i dont want like a therapist, but i dont want just a friend who will give me any advice, i dont want advice, i just want to vent and someone to be like, yeah im sorry that stinks, im here to listen. that would be so refreshing. no advice, no my life sucks too, none of it, it doesnt help, i dont feel better. i just need a person. | | |
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